The UPS and downs of Airline Travel

We were talking about American Airlines decision to charge for every checked bag. I heard one comment from a passenger that hates to be nickled and dimed to death by banks, cell-phone companies, etc.

Well I have a (tounge-in-cheek) solution for the airline industry. Follow the UPS shipping model. Here's how it would work:

1) Declare how you want to travel:
a) CrazyFastExpress (^tm, ^sm, patent pending) (non-stop)
b) Overnight (red-eye)
c) Two-day
d) Three-day (real or simulated weather event included)

2) Weigh yourself and your baggage. Multiple that by some amount like $0.003 per mile pound. That is your ticket fare.

Simple. No 9/11 fees, airport landing fees, fuel surcharges, baggage charges, etc. Just ship yourself like you ship all of the rest of the packages.

Let's see it in action. To fly CrazyFastExpress from:

LAX -> NYC (2482 miles) = 2482 * 200 lb * $0.003 = $993
LAX -> DEN (865 miles) = 865 * 200 lb * $0.003 = $346

Children fly cheaper because they weigh less. If you don't like the price, lose some weight instead of gaining like the rest of the nation is.

Of course if you are willing to do 2-day service, then you could also save money:

LAX -> JFK (2482 miles) = 2482 * 200 lb * $0.001 = $496
LAX -> DEN (865 miles) = 865 * 200 lb * $0.001 = $173

It ends up being a pretty good deal. When I checked FedEx, they wanted $1,237 to ship 200 lbs same day LAX->JFK.

What do you think? Will this idea ever get off the ground? ;-)

Update 05-JUN-2008
...And then I read this news story about airlines actually considering charging passengers on weight.